Close encounters of the Bird Kind

Tuesday the 9^th of November 2010

The Good folk at the Todd River Tavern, have been kind enough to store our excess gear (my stuff) whilst we are at Uluru, as it turns out lots of people get places around town to do the same. With the Harley’s repacked for light travel we were ready to go. Filled with anticipation, we jumped on our bikes and headed to Uluru (the Rock).

The temperature was supposed to get to about 36 degrees but I’m not sure it did, even Alan thought it was a pleasant day in terms of weather.

Riding along I nearly collected a couple of birds, two birds flew just past my windscreen whilst the last bird flew just past my right hand mirror. I think that the only thing that saved me  was the Rockers windscreen, the windscreen pushes the air out to the sides and I suspect that the bird (thankfully) got caught in the slip screen and that pushed the bird in the opposite direction. I’m not sure what they were as at 110Klm’s as its pretty hard to distinguish when your ducking under the windscreen. The problem seems to be that they just fly out of the bush, and they also tend to fly erratically so there flight paths are unpredictable.

Why and how do bugs & insects get in your glasses? If anyone knows why let me know, because I really don’t like it when they end up in my glasses… you have to take off your glasses whilst riding and they tend to want to hang in there. Very annoying…

Saw this really cool truck that had been converted into a mobile home, the  guy has driven it all the way around the world check it out.

When you get to about 110Klm’s from the Uluru you catch glimpses of “the Rock” nothing can really prepare you for its sheer size. I’m sure you’ve all seen “the Rock” on TV but you really need to make the trek and check it out. Now here is a true story just before we got to Curtin Springs (about an hour out of Uluru) I was listening to my IPod (as I tend to do) when appropriately an Australian classic song came on Solid Rock by Goanna. To see “the Rock” on my life hand side in the distance, it will be one of those songs I will forever remember for this day.

Cheers

a

Mount Isa to 3 ways

Sunday the 7^th of November 2010

The ride out Isa was great, a few rolling hills and sweeping bends. In some sections the road has gone through the hills so you get red granite walls on either side of the road, the red rocks look spectacular and in some places the grass and shrubs have started to grow over the cut rock. We saw 3 locals taking their Harley out for a spin, I’m guessing they were heading home as they were heading towards Mount Isa and it was about lunch time.  

We pulled into Camooweal and did the obligatory fueling up before heading to the Northern Territory border. For the first time on this trip there was a sign welcoming us into a new State or Territory, I would have thought that every time you crossed a boarder there would be a welcoming sign, but clearly I was wrong…

The next thing you notice about the Northern Territory is that the speed limit is 130 Klm’s per hour, yes folks that’s right 130Klm’s per hour. As for me I don’t bother doing 130 clicks, it’s just too hard on me so I plonk the Harley on 120 clicks and leave it on that all day. (My speedo is also out so, realistically I’m doing about 110 clicks) The roads are also in sensational condition, they are the best country roads I have seen anywhere in Australia, however they are long and flat.

We rode through our first tropical thunder storm and lets suggest it was a welcome relief as the temperature was starting to climb rapidly. The rain drops are like everything up here they are bigger and hurt more, I’d imagine it’s like getting hit with in the face with a cricket ball being bowled by Curtly Ambrose, but once the shock of that has worn off the cooling effect of the water is fabulous. But alas the thunder storm was only a small one so we didn’t remain cool for long.

Alan and I stopped for lunch at a designated rest area, which are nicely setup for travelers. Whilst we were there we discussed that fact that I have gone from my Harley Davidson leather jacket to my Draggin Jeans material jacket (80% Ramie & 20% cotton) with Kevlar lining. The simple reason is its about 35 degrees in the shade, so the reason for swapping to the Draggin Jacket is that it is much lighter and cooler when it is hot because its fabric. Also when you get caught in a thunder storm at about 40 degrees it helps keep you much cooler than my leather jacket would. Alan’s comment to me is that if it wasn’t for his Draggin jacket (which is Denim) he would have been brought his Bell Star leather jacket (which is also a heavy leather) and in the heat he would now be just wearing his long sleeve shirts. (and I’d be calling him a plonker)

About 40 klm’s from the next fuel stop my petrol warning light came on and said “Lo”, which typically isn’t a good sign. (Alan was way ahead of me at this point) I guessed I would make it but none the less started making contingency plans. I get that I’m paranoid, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get me… You’ve all seen the films, brother runs out of fuel in the middle of nowhere, banjo playing Hill Billy (we’ll call him Ivan ) in a pick-up truck rocks up and offers assistance. The brother thinking that everybody is decent jumps in the pick-up truck, whilst all the viewers at home are screaming at the telly don’t get in stay by the bike, stay by the bike you idiot… But of course it’s all too late, the brother wakes up in a pit with the Hill Billy sitting at the top patting his dog saying “ it puts the lotion on” now of course I’m not going to put the lotion on because it’s not Oil of Ulay. So the Hill Billy gets really mad and very insistent. As you can imagine he wants to turn my skin into a lamp shade or wear it to his sister’s wedding to his older brother. Whatever it is he wants to do with me isn’t going to end well for me!!! So I nursed my bike for 40klm’s to the Barkley Homestead Roadhouse, but as it turns out I still had 3 litres left in my tank which would get me about another 45clicks down the road. The Barkley Homestead has some of the most beautiful Frangipanis I’ve seen so these are for you Michelle.

Fuel around these parts is expensive $1.80 a litre, but that’s life and I’m guessing it costs a fair bit to get it out here. We are staying at the three way’s roadhouse, it’s got great food, I had a massive burger for $10. The room was full of mosquitoes but you know me, I’m a fan of chemical warfare so they lost the war after making a promising start in the battle.

The great thing about these places is all the old photos and stories on the walls, like Tex and his Cattle dog Bundy, They are holders of the fastest dog record and Tex rode around Australia in 8 days (15,000 clicks) if you’re out this way check them out.

Cheers

a

Funny stories and lots of Odd things

The Curious case of the missing underwear

It seems that a couple of pairs of my underwear have gone missing, as it turns out I’m missing a pair of Bond’s comfy undies and a pair of 7 day undies. ( yep the infamous 7 day undies, they were just starting to get great shape to) Now I hate to speculate but at one of the doggy places Alan chose for us to stay at they went missing and I think that one of the locals liked me so much they thought that they would swipe my undies and make a pillow case with them. Very annoying…

It’s my Harley, no really it is

At the Bundy Distillery I went to move my Harley without my jacket on, the problem is that my FOB (proximity device for the alarm) was in my jacket pocket. So the alarm went off, let’s suggest it is pretty loud, which causes everyone to look around. What they would have seen is a black man getting off a Harley and then running away …. Sure I happened to be running to where my jacket was, but I’m not sure anyone had figured that out. So you can imagine what everyone was thinking…Annoying for me as I don’t particularly like to run these days,  humorous for Alan, amusing now that I look back.

This one’s for you Mrs Daley, Alan’s finally started shutting doors, can you believe it. Apparently the air conditioner doesn’t work so well with the door open.

Stalling your Harley count

Alan: 2

Lane splitting in Sydney with me following him (annoying for me)

Out front of the Dorrigo pub in front of the locals and the local bile club (priceless)

Andrew: 1

                Lane splitting in Cairns (also annoying for me)

Dropping your Harley count

Alan: 1

                Tried to ride off without taking his disc lock off at bike shop

Andrew : 0

Thinking that you won’t get wet when you can see the wall of hurt coming your way

Alan: 1

                On the way back from Port Douglas Alan didn’t think he would need his wet weather gear.

Andrew: 1

It’s a passing light shower.

Losing stuff

Alan: too many to count

                Left stuff in hotels

                Left stuff in friends’ houses

                Lost stuff of his bike whilst riding and on it goes..

Andrew: 1

                Disc lock fell out of saddle bags when I left it open.

Lastly everyone we meet think we should get married, if we aren’t already…and that’s not funny!!!

Cheers

a

Armageddon is upon us

Saturday the 6^th of November 2010

Today whilst I was getting ready to go I discovered that a plague of ants have decided to inhabit my bike seat, yes you have read it correct they Ants really have taken up residence in my seat. I’ve tried spraying them, drowning them, and even cooking them but still they breed.

I’m not particularly religious but I think that Armageddon is really here!!!

Firstly: we rode through torrential rain.

Second: I got the first plague of ants,

Third: the plague of Cane toads living under our cabin last night,

Fourth: we rode into a plague of locusts,

Finally: we rode through a fire (all be it a small one)

So as you can see Queensland has a problem of biblical proportions, thankfully it would seem that help is at hand, I read sign just outside of Mount Isa which inferred that Jesus was coming. I’m a little curious as to when he will get here and if it’s only Queensland he’s going to save or if like me he’s just planning on passing through.

Whilst I was riding through the locust plague a pretty interesting thing happened. I was riding with my heals on the forward controls with my feet splayed outwards when a locust hit the instep of my right boot it then flew up along my leg and hit me in the chin and finally got sucked forward (there is a vortex created by the windscreen) until it hit the windscreen and fell down the forks. I couldn’t tell if the little critter was alive by the end of it but that would have to be the unluckiest locust ever.

We stopped for lunch at the Burke and Wills Roadhouse, it’s an interesting spot but I couldn’t live there it’s seriously in the middle of nowhere. We discussed how and why people would choose to live there, but I’m glad they do because if they didn’t I wouldn’t have got any fuel.

As it turns out Premium Unleaded fuel is the big problem, standard fuel is easy every station carries it. What I’ve had to do is put enough in my to get to the next town and then fill up with Premium, it’s a tad annoying but that’s just what you have to do.

A lot of the outback roads in Queensland have single lane sections which I don’t mind so long as the car or triple (truck towing 3 trailers, about 50 meters long) move over. The rules are that because it’s a single lane road so both vehicles need to move over to the left hand side when you pass each other. For anything bigger than motorbikes they will need to put one wheel in the gravel, which is in really good condition. You can tell the tourists because they are the ones who don’t move over however it does get a bit unnerving when they don’t.

I generally don’t slow down on these roads, in fact I only slow down for the cattle grids. Which I don’t know why they bother with them as the cows generally just wonder around on the roads and if they want to avoid the grids then they just use the shoulders…

The other interesting thing about cows is they just tend to stare at you as you ride past. So you have to wonder what’s going through their minds as they stare at you. In case your interested I’m thinking about Hungry Jack’s angus burgers as I go passed those cows.

Probably the only other interesting thing that happened today was Alan wanted to swap Harley’s for a while so I rode Alan’s Heritage Softail (he wants to a Rocker C, I think the ants choosing to make their home in my bike seat over his was the last straw). The amazing thing about Alan’s Harley is the windscreen works properly in comparison to mine. It was like riding in the Cone of Silence, there was no wind noise and you didn’t get a battering from the wind. The other nice thing was the footboards I was wondering how I could fit them to my Harley with forward controls.

Cheers

a

This is going to take forever to get home…

Friday 5^th of November 2010

Well we have actually made it onto the road at 8:30am, I know you’re probably about as surprised as we are. As we were leaving Cairns Alan copped another spray for his riding by a truck driver, funny I haven’t copped any. We headed out via the Gillies Highway into the mountains again, but this time we could actually see… for one of the first times on this trip it was sunny. So we had a couple of opportunities to get some photos, at this one particular spot the clouds were at the same height as we were and I must admit it looked a little surreal.

It truly is spectacular but it’s difficult to look at the scenery and ride. From there we headed to the Atherton Tablelands which is lush farmland as far you can see. As we headed into the countryside the landscape changed dramatically from farmland to sparse scrubland.

Alan is pushing 50 years old and as such it turns out that he can’t ride for more than 2 hours without having a power nap. So we pulled over at a place called Mount Surprise where Alan had his 30 minute nana nap. But in all seriousness Alan had himself a couple of micro sleeps whilst riding so it was a pretty good idea to pull over. (He’s a bad enough rider as it is, without taking naps as well)  Whilst we were at Mount Surprise I had a beef curry pie, at least that’s what it had on the label, I’m not so sure.

Probably the most interesting thing I saw there was a couple of Dell Laptop boxes a Belkin box and an Ingram Micro box. Once Alan got up he spotted the local train, so he went and played with the train conductor for a while.

There are these signs in Queensland that depict a car crashing into a car, with the car coming of second best, (I tried to get a photo but alas failed) pay attention to these signs there are cows everywhere on the road. “Cows with Guns”

We have now arrived at Normanton on the Gulf of Carpentaria. I’m not sure but I think the place we are staying at is infested with Cane Toads. Now kicking them doesn’t count unless you’re riding your bike.

Cheers

a

Bike Envy & the Daintree

Thursday the 4th of November 2010

Last night Alan was reminder of how much people love my bike in comparison to his and again today. The good folk here went out and inspected the bikes and unanimously decided that my Harley was the best. There is also a 2003 anniversary model Super Glide out the back (which belongs to the guy who keeps coughing up lungs). So in the

Railway Hotel Cairns Harley Show & Shine

my Harley won the best bike as voted by the guests, patrons and employees of the Railway Hotel in Cairns. So on behalf of myself I would like to thank….

We you next see Alan, please don’t rub it in too much, he’s a bit sensitive about it, personally I would have thought he would be used to it by now. I mean seriously you can’t call that a back tyre, it’s almost the same size as a postie bikes rear tyre.

We did eventually get out on the bikes this morning after an Alan breakfast special of Baked Beans, Eggs and toast.  (I got the coffee) The ride took us up to Port Douglas and Mossman, the first thing that you notice is the folks up here really love roundabouts there is a 25Klm stretch of the Cook highway which has nothing but roundabouts on it. But once your clear of them you get 50Klms of winding coastal roads all the way to Port Douglas, brilliant!!!

We then headed on to Mossman and the Daintree Forrest for lunch. I can’t go into too much detail as it was just too horrible, but let’s just suggest that someone not me nuded up and swam in the Daintree River.

Those poor tourists will be scared for life.

Finally whilst we were waiting for the return trip on the free shuttle bus a lady was having a conversation with her partner it went something like this.

Male: standing in the rain.

“Are you going to come and look around or what?”

Lady: standing under the eaves of the toilet block.

“No I think I’ll wait until it stops raining”

Andrew: completely soaked from either the constant tropical rain or the 100% humidity (take your pick).

“Snicker, snicker, good luck with that one.”

Lady:

“What do you mean?”

Andrew:

“It’s called a rainforest for a reason.”

Cheers

a

Alan has a death wish and a new sport is born

Wednesday the 3^rd of November 2010

We went on the Cairns and Atherton Tableland ride that is promoted in the Harley Owners Group 2010 Touring Handbook Australia & New Zealand. It’s a great ride, with lots of winding roads going uphill. I spotted this piece of graffiti whilst I was riding and though it was pretty good (typically I’m not impressed by the stuff)

Unfortunately bad seems to be the way for us is that it was misty / foggy so we missed out on some of the view. But we should probably be watching the road anyway…

We stopped for a coffee at the Lake Barrine on the Gordonvale Atherton Road, where the lake is impressive but the coffee not so. It was the second most expensive coffee $4:80 each, Sydney remains the most expensive at $6:20 a couple of years ago. They did have some old photos on the wall which were fascinating, one of which showed an old lorry getting up the Gillies Road in the early 30’s, (I think) it wasn’t a good look with people digging and pushing etc. thank god for bitumen.

On the way out Alan decided to pullout in front of a rather large truck (Heavy Combination) he had to gun it but the driver still had to brake pretty hard. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t happy as he spent the next 20 minutes tailgating Alan at about 110Klm’s per hour

After lunch we were cruising around heading in the general direction of Cairns when I saw my first Cane Toad, it was sitting in the middle of the road oblivious to oncoming traffic. So in one of those daydreaming moments I came up with a new game Cane Toad Kicking. The object of the game is to see who can kick the most Cane Toads by the time we get home. The rules are simple all you have to do is kick the Cane Toads whilst riding and there has to be some evidence of the kicking.

The evidence must be irrefutable so something like splatter on boots or video footage is pretty much the only acceptable forms of evidence.

Now as a confession I invented this game because I can actually win this game. The current contest is seeing which one of us can grow the most facial hair, let’s suggest that I am losing this one quite badly. I probably should have thought more considering Alan has a full length fur coat. I really didn’t stand a chance to begin with.

The final part of our ride was to see the butterflies, funny story they mate for somewhere between 8 -14 hours. The female is bigger (the reasons for the size difference will become apparent) but the male is more colourful to attract his mate.  Once they start the female anesthetises the male after about 1 minute. So he spends the rest of the time asleep…sounds pretty good to me. The male also hangs upside down whilst the female butterfly is the right way up. This is because if there is trouble via a predator she can then carry the male and fly them both to safety, hence the size difference and the butterfly version of rohypnol.

I also had a couple of butterflies mating on me for the entire tour, when it was time to leave Alan had to carefully remove them from me by putting them onto a nearby tree. it was a delicate operation we didn't want to spoil the momment for them.

Cheers

a