No Retreat No Surrender

Wednesday the 17^th of November 2010

After many moments off faffing (Alan term for wasting time) we headed off but as we rounded the first corner not even 5 minutes into the days ride we could see the impending disaster that was about to unfold. It came in the form of the perfect thunder storm, given it was the middle of the day and it was unbelievably dark in the direction we were heading (south to Katherine) we knew this was going to end baldly, it was just a matter of time. We had made it onto the Stuart Highway when the strong hot gusty winds hit, at that point we knew we were in trouble as we didn’t have our wet weather gear on and that takes Alan about 5 minutes and me about 10. There was nowhere to pull off the road as the road side shoulders are gravel so we searched for shelter of some description with absolutely no luck. As the rain started to fall we just had to bite the bullet and pulled over as far as we could, trucks and cars flew passed us at a rate of knots (probably 110klm’s, as that is the speed limit) in the pouring rain we struggled to get the wet weather gear on quickly so we got soaked even before we had a chance. Once we started moving again it got even worse, I couldn’t do more than 70-80klm’s an hour because of extremely poor visibility. At best I could see 20 -30 metres in front of me, cars and the triples (trucks that are 53.5metres long) continued to fly passed us, the shoulder of the road had become raging torrents of water gushing passed us (we were going that slow) to say that we got wet would be an understatement to say that we got very, very wet would also be an understatement. The rain was truly torrential, but as visibility was the real problem, blind people don’t ride motorbikes for a reason!!! We eventually found a roadhouse to seek shelter in.

At the roadhouse Alan turned to me and said we have two options, keep going forward into the eye of the perfect thunder storm or he could ring Tanya and beg for one more night's accommodation. I could see the desperate look on Alan’s face and I could tell he wanted to go back, but as much as staying with Tanya, Mark and the kids was great I wanted to press on. No Retreat, no Surrender…

 As it turns out Alan and I had the same experience with our buff’s (the thin material that covers bikers faces, typically they are black) it rained so hard and we were so wet that when we went to breathe out through the buff it just ballooned out like a wet sail, which if that wasn’t bad enough when we breathed in we got nothing but water. I’d imagine it to be like being water boarded by the Americans. After you get a mouth full of water you have no choice but to spit it out (through your buff). So now I hear you say why don’t you just take your buff off? Well that’s because the rain drops like everything out here are bigger!!! Which means they hurt more when you get hit in the face by them. Normal raindrops feel like razor blades cutting you, these raindrops feel like twenty Samurai’s are turning you into Sushi with their swords.

The irony of all this was I was listening to Bob Marley V’s Funkstar’s grooving song “Sun is Shining” with some of the lyrics being

Sun is shining, weather is sweet yeah,

Make you want to groove, dancing sweet

Just let me say this is complete irony, whilst the song itself makes me want to groove the weather was not sweet, we’ve ridden through some serious rain and hail storms but nothing like this. Without doubt this was the worst storm I’ve ever encountered.

Having said that it did clear before we hit Katherine and because of the cloud cover it then turned out to be a great days riding. As we rode through Katherine for the second time, id suggest it’s not a place I would choose to go to unless you were really bored but you really needed to get fuel or some shopping done. It truly is a place that you would just pass through on your way to somewhere else. Having said that we didn’t do the Gorges because we were on the Harley’s. Everyone tells me that if you are in a 4wheel drive then it’s a must do, so I guess I’ll have to come back with a 4wheel drive.

The best part was undoubtedly as you turn into the Victoria River Region. The rock formations and scenery are spectacular and of course the Victoria River is as impressive as the surrounding landscape.

The downside to the Victoria River is apparently there is a bunch of crocodiles which inhabit these waters, I don’t mind so much as I wasn’t planning on swimming because it is too cold for me) however Alan was a tad disappointed.

The Victoria River Roadhouse also has all these old black and white photos on the wall at the roadhouse which are really cool, aerial photo’s of what the place used to look like, the floods and of course the hard men of the outback… one series of photos is of a guy cattle mustering with the 70”s beard. I must admit he does look manly as he wrestles the cow to the ground. In another series of photo’s they are flying a helicopter under the old Victoria Bridge, which is very impressive given it isn’t very big, probably the funniest one is the bloke using his boat to transport cartons and cartons of VB across the flooded river… you know where Australian priorities are, don’t worry about the food just make sure we have enough beer.

Cheers

a

15th & 16th of November 2010

Litchfield National Park (Wangi Falls)

Monday the 15^th November 2010

We awoke this morning to the squawking of about 5 Crows, as it turns out the Cane Toad who had dearly departed the night before had been consumed by the crows, not quite the result that we had anticipated. We were trying to protect the native wild life not provide them with a poisonous feed.

We had our morning swim which turned into a meet and greet with some backpackers. Two French and one German, they all love it here and want to stay longer than there one year visa which means they have to work in either a construction or agricultural job (typically fruit picking), .After lunch with the back packers I did the walk around Wangi Falls again (about the extent of my fitness regime) and had a quick swim to the actual waterfalls and then headed for Palmerston / Darwin. Alan headed for Palmerston straight after lunch. As it turned out we both got wet by the same thunder storm, about 6-8klms out from Batchelor. But as per usual you get all your wet weather gear on and then about half an hour later its fine and hot, could set your watch by it but I broke the glass face on mine. Wildly unhappy.

After some interesting directions and personalised Tom Tom voice (thanks Mark) I arrived at the lovely home of Tanya, Mark, Kira and Arial. Mark’s car had been relegated to the outside carparking area so we could put the bikes into the garage.

I’m not sure what it is about the name Tanya but, we had another great home cooked meal compliments of our lovely host. I suspect that Tanya also thought that Alan and I were a married couple as Tanya suggested we share a queen size bed… But fortunately for me, Tanya had another bed for that room. I know I’m a great looking bloke and after a month away from Sally I’m looking even better. (And yes I’m very, very scared).

Tuesday the 16^th of November 2010

Rest day sort of

We got up and then basically enjoyed the views from Tanya’s and Mark’s balcony for a while before we got motivated to get things moving. Probably the first thing about Darwin that you need to know is that it is Hot & Humid, I kinda like it, but I’m not so sure Alan is a big fan he is however a big fan of the pool though, if you can’t find him and the place that your staying in has a pool save yourself sometime and check the pool first.

We headed for Darwin proper for some lunch and sightseeing, everything around Darwin is lush and green and lots of Frangipanis (some streets are even lined with them) whilst we were out we saw the approaching thunderstorm it looked pretty big so we decided to get out of Dodge whilst we could. (We didn’t take our wet weather gear on this sightseeing expedition)

On the way back to Tanya & Marks we saw the local Harley dealer so we thought we would risk getting drenched in the impending thunder storm and pull in and have a look. The demo day looked like it had just been in town as all the demo bikes were lined up put the front. (You can tell by the sequential NSW number plates) amongst them I saw the Ultra, now that’s the way to tour Australia. Yep I know what you’re saying Mark, but I haven’t reach retirement yet!!! The local dealer also had a new sporty that they had customised for a Harley completion and let me suggest I thought it looked pretty good.

We could still see those clouds coming so we decided to bolt for shelter. Here is one of those funny things that you learn whilst touring, just before the thunderstorms actually hit there is always a really hot wind that blows in, on a bike it makes for interesting riding because it tends to be very gusty which means you get blown across lanes of traffic… Because we had previously worked out the signs we knew we had less than 5 minutes before we were going to get wet very wet, also if you looked to the left it was pitch black the landscape was in complete darkness whereas off to the right of us was glimpses of sunlight.

Thankfully we did make it back in time, sure we didn’t do any grocery shopping or the next couple of days but I think that it was better to runaway and live to fight another day was the best option. It absolutely bucketed down or at least an hour, thankfully we watched it from the shelter of the Reynold’s balcony. I must admit I’m liking the Darwin thunderstorms.

Cheers

a

Mataranka to Litchfield National Park

Sunday the 14^th November 2010

Not much happened today on the actual ride except Alan trying to kill himself… Alan has a water bottle which he keeps in the left hand side pocket on his gearsack which is positioned behind him. The problem is, whilst he’s riding and if he wants to get a drink he has to reach around behind, pull the drink bottle out of the side pocket. Typically he then starts riding all over the road and his speed drops dramatically. (He doesn’t believe me but I’ll get it on film as evidence) once he had finished his drink the same thing happens as he is attempting to put the drink bottle back. On this occasion Alan was attempting to put the drink bottle back in but missed the side pocket, Alan then swerved off the road and onto the gravel, he sprayed me with rocks, which clearly did not please me (you may have gathered I’m a bit precious about my bike). The drink bottle hit the road and water sprayed out as it bounced to a halt. We then pulled up and Alan went back to retrieve the drink bottle. Later when we stopped for fuel I suggested to Alan that he might want to rethink the drink bottle placement scenario and possibly replace it with a camel pack (like mine) tied to the handle bars. Alan thinks I look gay whilst sipping from the tube whilst riding, but I’ll take that as opposed to crashing my bike at 110 clicks. The suggestion was rejected.

The Litchfield National Park is impressive. The Termite Mounds are massive, and then you get to the Wangi falls. Imagine its hot and unbelievably humid and you’ve been on a Harley for several hours, with a scenarios like this I’m even looking forward to a nice dip in a relatively warm watering hole, but alas first we needed to setup camp.

After a couple of laps of the campsite on the bikes we chose the best spot available (everything was because it’s not tourist season) we then looked for a place to set up the tents, and trust me when I say it has to be the perfect place. It truly dose take lots of contemplation and pondering to find the right spot, it has to be on nice grass and where the water won’t flow through your tent in the middle of the night when the tropical thunder storms hit. Under the right kind of tree so that it provides shade all day but the tree can’t be a widow maker (Lemon Scented Gum Tree) as they tend to drop branches and squash anything underneath them. Once we had determined the perfect spot we put up our tents and bolted for the water because we were both absolutely soaked due to the humidity.

But as fate would have it as we approach the Wangi Falls Swimming hole it starts to rain, which means the temperature drops by about 15 degrees so I don’t need a swim. (It was too cold)  Alan still needs a swim, so I left him with the other tourist and did the walk 1.7Klm’s up and over the top of the falls, it’s a spectacular view and to see the creeks that flow into the waterfall is as impressive as it is interesting. The water is clear and the rocks are this beautiful burnt orange colour that glistens with the water flowing over them.

After dinner Alan spotted a live Cane Toad, unfortunately killing one whilst not riding does not count so we had to introduce the Cane toad to a log from the fire. Let’s just suggest it didn’t end well for the Cane toad.

After such excitement we had retired to our Separate Tents  (that’s for all of those of you that think we behave like a old married couple)  I was awoken to hear the gurgling of air being pushed out of a sprinkler system by water under enormous pressure, that was then followed by my tent being hit by the spray from said sprinkler. As it turns out Alan had left his tent fly off so he could get some his air flow through his tent, apparently that wasn’t such a good move as he was directly in the line of fire from said sprinkler. Alan had to get up and quickly put the fly on, but whilst Alan and his gear did get reasonably wet, the fact that he did get up so quickly did save him from getting completely soaked. At this point in time I had already fallen asleep again because I wasn’t getting wet due to the fact I had put my fly on. Good Times…

However my luck was about to change, at about 3am another set of sprinklers came on except they were like fire hoses that that are held down by teams of firemen fighting those massive building blazes and one of them was only half a metre from my tent. I then leapt into action, sure it actually took about 15 minutes before I could be bothered getting up and stop asking why had the Gods forsaken me once again and thinking it will end soon. (and yes George I was thinking I should just say no) once  out of my tent I discovered the close proximity of the sprinkler so I decided the Cane Toad killing log wedged up against the sprinkler and  between my tent and the sprinkler would do the trick. And it sure did…  Whilst it wasn’t a complete disaster I did have to sponge the inside of my tent down.

Who would think that in the Litchfield National park would have sprinklers, not just your average sprinklers but the fire hydrant kind.

Cheers

a

Thank God it’s not the Wet Season!!!!

Saturday the 13^th of November 2010

Last night was a wild night, it was incredibly windy and rained all night. The thunder storms were incredible and as a result everywhere you looked there was water…

All the creeks were flowing, Attack Creek (odd name) was probably the pick of creeks, (it looks more like a river to me) once again it was raining for most of the morning.

It’s just lucky were not in the wet season because we would really be in trouble. About 1pm it finally stopped raining

At the first fuel stop Alan caught up with me and we headed off to Mataranka and the hot springs. Mataranka is about the halfway point from Three Ways / Tennant Creek and Darwin. After all the hype I must admit to being a little underwhelmed by the hot springs, the water is beautiful but I’m not sure I would rave about it.

Cheers

a

Harley Stuff & Killing time

Thursday the 11^th of November 2010

Today was just about getting back to Alice, we had booked our bikes in for another service as well as new back tyres.

So here is the tip, if you are thinking of riding around Australia then be prepared for new tyres and a couple of bike services. Most importantly shop around the Harley dealers, servicing prices and tyre prices vary dramatically.

The only interesting thing that happened today was Alan rescued a Thorny Devil from being road kill.

I must say I like the Alice, they are a tourist friendly town. They were having a Night Market which was pretty cool. Unfortunately the Wi-Fi isn’t free anymore, they are now charging $1 for 12 minutes ohh well.

Friday the 12^th of November 2010

We waited around for the Harley’s to be finished so we just killed time in the Alice, once they were done we called a cab and went to the local Harley Dealer.  With the Harleys loaded we hit the road, it was pretty warm until the heavens opened then it got cool down really quickly. It pretty much rained for the rest of the day.

I saw these statues on the way in and thought they were pretty cool.

As a motorcyclist on a lowered Harley there are some things that concern me, flood ways in torrential rain is one of them. 0.4 of a meter will be a problem for me and 1.4meteres let’s just say I’ll be in over my head...

Alan and I got split up, Alan ended up at Tenant Creek whilst I ended up at Three Ways.

Cheers

a

Uluru– Kata Tjuta National Park (the Rock - & the Olgas)

Wednesday the 10^th of November 2010

News Flash

We were on the road around 7:30am as it was a 30 minute drive to the Rock from Yulara and we had booked ourselves on a guided tour with the local it turns al rangers which started at 8am.

When we got there was a sign saying the climb was closed. (not that I was ever going to climb anyway, I choose to respect the local Aboriginal wishes) The guides talked to us about the Aboriginal Creation (the local term for Aboriginal Dreaming) the plant life and wildlife. I found the guided walk really interesting and informative, for example Uluru is actually on its side. You can actually see the layers of sediment and instead of being horizontal they are vertical!!! Uluru is also covered with iron oxide which they believe was blown in from Western Australia. The Iron Oxide is basically what stops the rock from eroding away at a much faster rate. Probably the best thing about the Guided Tour is that it was free.

We headed for Kata Tjuta (the Olgas) and arrived there just after 11am, which meant that the walk from the 1^st lookout was closed. Not that we were planning on walking the whole thing anyway because we’re basically lazy and it was getting pretty hot by that stage.

Everything out here is impressive and big, for what it’s worth I think a trip out here is absolutely worth the effort.

So here is another reason you should wear Draggin jeans, some plonker (that would be me) burnt his leg on his exhaust because he rode around with shorts on and yes it hurts.

Cheers

a

Town Called Alice

Monday the 8^th of November 2010

The roads in the Northern Territory are just sensational, they are for the most part straight and flat. Occasionally there are slight undulations and long sweeping bends. It is a tad unnerving when you’re riding along at 120clicks and you are over taken like you are standing still. Generally when you ride a motorbike it’s rare that you will be over taken, but out here you better get used to it.

Not far from Three ways are The Devils Marbles. I like them they are just bizarre, it’s incredible to think that these large boulders can be so precariously perched. There are literally 100’s of them in a very small area. If you look on the other side of the road it’s just shrub so it’s really odd to see them.

I’ve decided to stay upwind (in front) of Alan for a couple of reasons, the first is that he is becoming a crap rider, moving all over the road and varying his speeds all the time. His logic is that it helps keep him alert. Not so great if you’re following him. But he’s also decided not to wash his Draggin Jeans, he loves the way they feel after a couple of days. But let me suggest that his jeans could probably ride the bike by themselves.  I went to wash my Draggin Jeans after sledging Alan, but unfortunately I forgot to throw them in the washing machine !!! This is generally a bad thing not because I wasted my $2 or half an hour of my life waiting for my jeans to be washed but because I then had to tell Alan I needed some more washing powder. Why is this bad? Let me tell you about portion controlled washing powder. Alan has measured out the correct proportion and then placed them into zip lock bags for each. Which means he knows how many washes we can do whilst we are away, but worse than that I’m never going to hear the end of it.

Things I like about Alice. Whilst Alan and I were wondering around the Todd Street Mall we saw all these backpackers sitting in their camping chairs using their laptops in the Mall. We thought that was pretty cool as the mall had all these power outlets for people to use. As it turns out the Mall has free, yes your reading this right FREE Wi-Fi. And it’s at 54Mbs. I think that a few other places in Australia could adopt some Alice ideas. I went to the mall at around 10:30pm and its pretty safe, the Police and private security patrol the mall and with all the other backpackers you won’t get lonely

Cheers

a

Close encounters of the Bird Kind

Tuesday the 9^th of November 2010

The Good folk at the Todd River Tavern, have been kind enough to store our excess gear (my stuff) whilst we are at Uluru, as it turns out lots of people get places around town to do the same. With the Harley’s repacked for light travel we were ready to go. Filled with anticipation, we jumped on our bikes and headed to Uluru (the Rock).

The temperature was supposed to get to about 36 degrees but I’m not sure it did, even Alan thought it was a pleasant day in terms of weather.

Riding along I nearly collected a couple of birds, two birds flew just past my windscreen whilst the last bird flew just past my right hand mirror. I think that the only thing that saved me  was the Rockers windscreen, the windscreen pushes the air out to the sides and I suspect that the bird (thankfully) got caught in the slip screen and that pushed the bird in the opposite direction. I’m not sure what they were as at 110Klm’s as its pretty hard to distinguish when your ducking under the windscreen. The problem seems to be that they just fly out of the bush, and they also tend to fly erratically so there flight paths are unpredictable.

Why and how do bugs & insects get in your glasses? If anyone knows why let me know, because I really don’t like it when they end up in my glasses… you have to take off your glasses whilst riding and they tend to want to hang in there. Very annoying…

Saw this really cool truck that had been converted into a mobile home, the  guy has driven it all the way around the world check it out.

When you get to about 110Klm’s from the Uluru you catch glimpses of “the Rock” nothing can really prepare you for its sheer size. I’m sure you’ve all seen “the Rock” on TV but you really need to make the trek and check it out. Now here is a true story just before we got to Curtin Springs (about an hour out of Uluru) I was listening to my IPod (as I tend to do) when appropriately an Australian classic song came on Solid Rock by Goanna. To see “the Rock” on my life hand side in the distance, it will be one of those songs I will forever remember for this day.

Cheers

a

Mount Isa to 3 ways

Sunday the 7^th of November 2010

The ride out Isa was great, a few rolling hills and sweeping bends. In some sections the road has gone through the hills so you get red granite walls on either side of the road, the red rocks look spectacular and in some places the grass and shrubs have started to grow over the cut rock. We saw 3 locals taking their Harley out for a spin, I’m guessing they were heading home as they were heading towards Mount Isa and it was about lunch time.  

We pulled into Camooweal and did the obligatory fueling up before heading to the Northern Territory border. For the first time on this trip there was a sign welcoming us into a new State or Territory, I would have thought that every time you crossed a boarder there would be a welcoming sign, but clearly I was wrong…

The next thing you notice about the Northern Territory is that the speed limit is 130 Klm’s per hour, yes folks that’s right 130Klm’s per hour. As for me I don’t bother doing 130 clicks, it’s just too hard on me so I plonk the Harley on 120 clicks and leave it on that all day. (My speedo is also out so, realistically I’m doing about 110 clicks) The roads are also in sensational condition, they are the best country roads I have seen anywhere in Australia, however they are long and flat.

We rode through our first tropical thunder storm and lets suggest it was a welcome relief as the temperature was starting to climb rapidly. The rain drops are like everything up here they are bigger and hurt more, I’d imagine it’s like getting hit with in the face with a cricket ball being bowled by Curtly Ambrose, but once the shock of that has worn off the cooling effect of the water is fabulous. But alas the thunder storm was only a small one so we didn’t remain cool for long.

Alan and I stopped for lunch at a designated rest area, which are nicely setup for travelers. Whilst we were there we discussed that fact that I have gone from my Harley Davidson leather jacket to my Draggin Jeans material jacket (80% Ramie & 20% cotton) with Kevlar lining. The simple reason is its about 35 degrees in the shade, so the reason for swapping to the Draggin Jacket is that it is much lighter and cooler when it is hot because its fabric. Also when you get caught in a thunder storm at about 40 degrees it helps keep you much cooler than my leather jacket would. Alan’s comment to me is that if it wasn’t for his Draggin jacket (which is Denim) he would have been brought his Bell Star leather jacket (which is also a heavy leather) and in the heat he would now be just wearing his long sleeve shirts. (and I’d be calling him a plonker)

About 40 klm’s from the next fuel stop my petrol warning light came on and said “Lo”, which typically isn’t a good sign. (Alan was way ahead of me at this point) I guessed I would make it but none the less started making contingency plans. I get that I’m paranoid, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get me… You’ve all seen the films, brother runs out of fuel in the middle of nowhere, banjo playing Hill Billy (we’ll call him Ivan ) in a pick-up truck rocks up and offers assistance. The brother thinking that everybody is decent jumps in the pick-up truck, whilst all the viewers at home are screaming at the telly don’t get in stay by the bike, stay by the bike you idiot… But of course it’s all too late, the brother wakes up in a pit with the Hill Billy sitting at the top patting his dog saying “ it puts the lotion on” now of course I’m not going to put the lotion on because it’s not Oil of Ulay. So the Hill Billy gets really mad and very insistent. As you can imagine he wants to turn my skin into a lamp shade or wear it to his sister’s wedding to his older brother. Whatever it is he wants to do with me isn’t going to end well for me!!! So I nursed my bike for 40klm’s to the Barkley Homestead Roadhouse, but as it turns out I still had 3 litres left in my tank which would get me about another 45clicks down the road. The Barkley Homestead has some of the most beautiful Frangipanis I’ve seen so these are for you Michelle.

Fuel around these parts is expensive $1.80 a litre, but that’s life and I’m guessing it costs a fair bit to get it out here. We are staying at the three way’s roadhouse, it’s got great food, I had a massive burger for $10. The room was full of mosquitoes but you know me, I’m a fan of chemical warfare so they lost the war after making a promising start in the battle.

The great thing about these places is all the old photos and stories on the walls, like Tex and his Cattle dog Bundy, They are holders of the fastest dog record and Tex rode around Australia in 8 days (15,000 clicks) if you’re out this way check them out.

Cheers

a

Funny stories and lots of Odd things

The Curious case of the missing underwear

It seems that a couple of pairs of my underwear have gone missing, as it turns out I’m missing a pair of Bond’s comfy undies and a pair of 7 day undies. ( yep the infamous 7 day undies, they were just starting to get great shape to) Now I hate to speculate but at one of the doggy places Alan chose for us to stay at they went missing and I think that one of the locals liked me so much they thought that they would swipe my undies and make a pillow case with them. Very annoying…

It’s my Harley, no really it is

At the Bundy Distillery I went to move my Harley without my jacket on, the problem is that my FOB (proximity device for the alarm) was in my jacket pocket. So the alarm went off, let’s suggest it is pretty loud, which causes everyone to look around. What they would have seen is a black man getting off a Harley and then running away …. Sure I happened to be running to where my jacket was, but I’m not sure anyone had figured that out. So you can imagine what everyone was thinking…Annoying for me as I don’t particularly like to run these days,  humorous for Alan, amusing now that I look back.

This one’s for you Mrs Daley, Alan’s finally started shutting doors, can you believe it. Apparently the air conditioner doesn’t work so well with the door open.

Stalling your Harley count

Alan: 2

Lane splitting in Sydney with me following him (annoying for me)

Out front of the Dorrigo pub in front of the locals and the local bile club (priceless)

Andrew: 1

                Lane splitting in Cairns (also annoying for me)

Dropping your Harley count

Alan: 1

                Tried to ride off without taking his disc lock off at bike shop

Andrew : 0

Thinking that you won’t get wet when you can see the wall of hurt coming your way

Alan: 1

                On the way back from Port Douglas Alan didn’t think he would need his wet weather gear.

Andrew: 1

It’s a passing light shower.

Losing stuff

Alan: too many to count

                Left stuff in hotels

                Left stuff in friends’ houses

                Lost stuff of his bike whilst riding and on it goes..

Andrew: 1

                Disc lock fell out of saddle bags when I left it open.

Lastly everyone we meet think we should get married, if we aren’t already…and that’s not funny!!!

Cheers

a

Armageddon is upon us

Saturday the 6^th of November 2010

Today whilst I was getting ready to go I discovered that a plague of ants have decided to inhabit my bike seat, yes you have read it correct they Ants really have taken up residence in my seat. I’ve tried spraying them, drowning them, and even cooking them but still they breed.

I’m not particularly religious but I think that Armageddon is really here!!!

Firstly: we rode through torrential rain.

Second: I got the first plague of ants,

Third: the plague of Cane toads living under our cabin last night,

Fourth: we rode into a plague of locusts,

Finally: we rode through a fire (all be it a small one)

So as you can see Queensland has a problem of biblical proportions, thankfully it would seem that help is at hand, I read sign just outside of Mount Isa which inferred that Jesus was coming. I’m a little curious as to when he will get here and if it’s only Queensland he’s going to save or if like me he’s just planning on passing through.

Whilst I was riding through the locust plague a pretty interesting thing happened. I was riding with my heals on the forward controls with my feet splayed outwards when a locust hit the instep of my right boot it then flew up along my leg and hit me in the chin and finally got sucked forward (there is a vortex created by the windscreen) until it hit the windscreen and fell down the forks. I couldn’t tell if the little critter was alive by the end of it but that would have to be the unluckiest locust ever.

We stopped for lunch at the Burke and Wills Roadhouse, it’s an interesting spot but I couldn’t live there it’s seriously in the middle of nowhere. We discussed how and why people would choose to live there, but I’m glad they do because if they didn’t I wouldn’t have got any fuel.

As it turns out Premium Unleaded fuel is the big problem, standard fuel is easy every station carries it. What I’ve had to do is put enough in my to get to the next town and then fill up with Premium, it’s a tad annoying but that’s just what you have to do.

A lot of the outback roads in Queensland have single lane sections which I don’t mind so long as the car or triple (truck towing 3 trailers, about 50 meters long) move over. The rules are that because it’s a single lane road so both vehicles need to move over to the left hand side when you pass each other. For anything bigger than motorbikes they will need to put one wheel in the gravel, which is in really good condition. You can tell the tourists because they are the ones who don’t move over however it does get a bit unnerving when they don’t.

I generally don’t slow down on these roads, in fact I only slow down for the cattle grids. Which I don’t know why they bother with them as the cows generally just wonder around on the roads and if they want to avoid the grids then they just use the shoulders…

The other interesting thing about cows is they just tend to stare at you as you ride past. So you have to wonder what’s going through their minds as they stare at you. In case your interested I’m thinking about Hungry Jack’s angus burgers as I go passed those cows.

Probably the only other interesting thing that happened today was Alan wanted to swap Harley’s for a while so I rode Alan’s Heritage Softail (he wants to a Rocker C, I think the ants choosing to make their home in my bike seat over his was the last straw). The amazing thing about Alan’s Harley is the windscreen works properly in comparison to mine. It was like riding in the Cone of Silence, there was no wind noise and you didn’t get a battering from the wind. The other nice thing was the footboards I was wondering how I could fit them to my Harley with forward controls.

Cheers

a

This is going to take forever to get home…

Friday 5^th of November 2010

Well we have actually made it onto the road at 8:30am, I know you’re probably about as surprised as we are. As we were leaving Cairns Alan copped another spray for his riding by a truck driver, funny I haven’t copped any. We headed out via the Gillies Highway into the mountains again, but this time we could actually see… for one of the first times on this trip it was sunny. So we had a couple of opportunities to get some photos, at this one particular spot the clouds were at the same height as we were and I must admit it looked a little surreal.

It truly is spectacular but it’s difficult to look at the scenery and ride. From there we headed to the Atherton Tablelands which is lush farmland as far you can see. As we headed into the countryside the landscape changed dramatically from farmland to sparse scrubland.

Alan is pushing 50 years old and as such it turns out that he can’t ride for more than 2 hours without having a power nap. So we pulled over at a place called Mount Surprise where Alan had his 30 minute nana nap. But in all seriousness Alan had himself a couple of micro sleeps whilst riding so it was a pretty good idea to pull over. (He’s a bad enough rider as it is, without taking naps as well)  Whilst we were at Mount Surprise I had a beef curry pie, at least that’s what it had on the label, I’m not so sure.

Probably the most interesting thing I saw there was a couple of Dell Laptop boxes a Belkin box and an Ingram Micro box. Once Alan got up he spotted the local train, so he went and played with the train conductor for a while.

There are these signs in Queensland that depict a car crashing into a car, with the car coming of second best, (I tried to get a photo but alas failed) pay attention to these signs there are cows everywhere on the road. “Cows with Guns”

We have now arrived at Normanton on the Gulf of Carpentaria. I’m not sure but I think the place we are staying at is infested with Cane Toads. Now kicking them doesn’t count unless you’re riding your bike.

Cheers

a

Bike Envy & the Daintree

Thursday the 4th of November 2010

Last night Alan was reminder of how much people love my bike in comparison to his and again today. The good folk here went out and inspected the bikes and unanimously decided that my Harley was the best. There is also a 2003 anniversary model Super Glide out the back (which belongs to the guy who keeps coughing up lungs). So in the

Railway Hotel Cairns Harley Show & Shine

my Harley won the best bike as voted by the guests, patrons and employees of the Railway Hotel in Cairns. So on behalf of myself I would like to thank….

We you next see Alan, please don’t rub it in too much, he’s a bit sensitive about it, personally I would have thought he would be used to it by now. I mean seriously you can’t call that a back tyre, it’s almost the same size as a postie bikes rear tyre.

We did eventually get out on the bikes this morning after an Alan breakfast special of Baked Beans, Eggs and toast.  (I got the coffee) The ride took us up to Port Douglas and Mossman, the first thing that you notice is the folks up here really love roundabouts there is a 25Klm stretch of the Cook highway which has nothing but roundabouts on it. But once your clear of them you get 50Klms of winding coastal roads all the way to Port Douglas, brilliant!!!

We then headed on to Mossman and the Daintree Forrest for lunch. I can’t go into too much detail as it was just too horrible, but let’s just suggest that someone not me nuded up and swam in the Daintree River.

Those poor tourists will be scared for life.

Finally whilst we were waiting for the return trip on the free shuttle bus a lady was having a conversation with her partner it went something like this.

Male: standing in the rain.

“Are you going to come and look around or what?”

Lady: standing under the eaves of the toilet block.

“No I think I’ll wait until it stops raining”

Andrew: completely soaked from either the constant tropical rain or the 100% humidity (take your pick).

“Snicker, snicker, good luck with that one.”

Lady:

“What do you mean?”

Andrew:

“It’s called a rainforest for a reason.”

Cheers

a

Alan has a death wish and a new sport is born

Wednesday the 3^rd of November 2010

We went on the Cairns and Atherton Tableland ride that is promoted in the Harley Owners Group 2010 Touring Handbook Australia & New Zealand. It’s a great ride, with lots of winding roads going uphill. I spotted this piece of graffiti whilst I was riding and though it was pretty good (typically I’m not impressed by the stuff)

Unfortunately bad seems to be the way for us is that it was misty / foggy so we missed out on some of the view. But we should probably be watching the road anyway…

We stopped for a coffee at the Lake Barrine on the Gordonvale Atherton Road, where the lake is impressive but the coffee not so. It was the second most expensive coffee $4:80 each, Sydney remains the most expensive at $6:20 a couple of years ago. They did have some old photos on the wall which were fascinating, one of which showed an old lorry getting up the Gillies Road in the early 30’s, (I think) it wasn’t a good look with people digging and pushing etc. thank god for bitumen.

On the way out Alan decided to pullout in front of a rather large truck (Heavy Combination) he had to gun it but the driver still had to brake pretty hard. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t happy as he spent the next 20 minutes tailgating Alan at about 110Klm’s per hour

After lunch we were cruising around heading in the general direction of Cairns when I saw my first Cane Toad, it was sitting in the middle of the road oblivious to oncoming traffic. So in one of those daydreaming moments I came up with a new game Cane Toad Kicking. The object of the game is to see who can kick the most Cane Toads by the time we get home. The rules are simple all you have to do is kick the Cane Toads whilst riding and there has to be some evidence of the kicking.

The evidence must be irrefutable so something like splatter on boots or video footage is pretty much the only acceptable forms of evidence.

Now as a confession I invented this game because I can actually win this game. The current contest is seeing which one of us can grow the most facial hair, let’s suggest that I am losing this one quite badly. I probably should have thought more considering Alan has a full length fur coat. I really didn’t stand a chance to begin with.

The final part of our ride was to see the butterflies, funny story they mate for somewhere between 8 -14 hours. The female is bigger (the reasons for the size difference will become apparent) but the male is more colourful to attract his mate.  Once they start the female anesthetises the male after about 1 minute. So he spends the rest of the time asleep…sounds pretty good to me. The male also hangs upside down whilst the female butterfly is the right way up. This is because if there is trouble via a predator she can then carry the male and fly them both to safety, hence the size difference and the butterfly version of rohypnol.

I also had a couple of butterflies mating on me for the entire tour, when it was time to leave Alan had to carefully remove them from me by putting them onto a nearby tree. it was a delicate operation we didn't want to spoil the momment for them.

Cheers

a

Dreams of grandeur and Hurts so good

Tuesday the 2^nd of November 2010

Once again we planned on leaving early but as per usual we got up and got going about 9:30am. But before we hit the road proper, so to speak we had to run a few errands. We headed back to Orm & Snell because Alan borrowed some magazines to read (the magazines are now a bio hazard) and I forgot to get my service manual signed. 32,000klm’s since November 21^st 2008 is a lot.

The ride into Cairns is a decent ride but I think that I’m still pinning for those mountain roads in New South Wales and Queensland they were so much fun and scenery that inspires. Having said that its great scenery just different, typically you will see lots of sugar cane and mountains to your left as you head north and more sugar cane to your right. The roads are in good condition and are relatively straight with gentle bends.

The amount of road works going on in QLD is incredible, they do half the road and then manage the traffic from both directions. It seems to work reasonably well. Alan rode on ahead of me and unfortunately I missed him running out into the street trying to grab my attention as we had previously discussed a ride up through the mountains.  

Banana trees have made an appearance as well as mango farms, good times, I’m planning on stopping and stocking up on all 3, for the next part of the journey.

Not far out of Townsville we were overtaken by a plonker riding a Gold Wing he was wearing a t-shirt, shorts & thongs. The pillion dressed a little more appropriately for the occasion but I couldn’t help but wonder if the air bag will save him…seriously they have airbags and I’m yet to figure out why.

Funny thing about Queenslanders they seem to love tailgating whilst driving and they love stopping traffic, under the pretence of road works.

Alan doing his best Arthur Daley impersonation found the dodgiest hotel in town to stay at, we were even warned it would be a blood bath if we chose to stay there. Which is true, but it’s cheap, really cheap, how cheap I hear you say $20 per night…Alan got the deluxe spa suite with working TV, (2 channels) fridge and king size bed. I however got the room with the guy who coughs up his lungs every couple of minutes. I guess I will be sleeping Nam style (with one eye open) I would be curled up in the bath tub, but only Alan’s room has that.

We went out for dinner at the local night markets, (recommended to us by the local bar stool population) whilst on the way down to the markets Alan decided to sledge me for listening to guy’s who had been smashed since 2pm (it was after all Melbourne Cup). So I had to justify my taking their advice on directions by one;

Disagreeing that they were smashed since 2pm. I think they have been smashed since 1972.

Secondly they are locals and seem to know the good oil. And yep it was a reasonable place to eat. Whilst we there I got a $15 massage, the guy made me pass out the pain was excruciating. If you want a masseur that is going to inflict the maximum amount of pain, then go for the guy or girl who has forearms like Arnold Schwarzenegger (Arnnie to his mates) quads. Alan asked me what it was like and all I could say was that I passed out 3 times once on each calf and when he did my neck.

Cheers

a